AAAAHHHHH SHOOT!

Ever have your heart set on something and in the end you were disappointed?  That disappointment cuts you right to the core of your being.  It’s like an axe to a tree.  You start doubting yourself, your skills, your abilities, your talents.  This can be a devastating time OR it can be one you turn into something remarkable.  Granted, you need time to sit with the disappointment and absorb it into your heart and mind but make sure you don’t sit with it for a very long time because it could do a lot of damage.  I know people always say “It wasn’t meant to be” and “There’s something better around the corner.”  Who the heck wants to wait until then?  I sure don’t.  BUT….we must.  We must pick ourselves up by the boot straps and carry on.

So how do we do that?  Well, the first thing is that we must not think any less of ourselves, our talents, or our abilities.  The skills we have are perfect for us. We have developed them and nurtured them and we use them to the best of our abilities.  This is something that no one can EVER take from you.  Remember that.

Secondly, think about what may have gone awry and see if there is a lesson to be learned from it.  Is there room for improvement?  Is there something you would have done differently?  Is there something you would not have done? When you discover the answer to these questions, you have unlocked the key to change.  There is nothing more empowering than holding that key in your hand knowing that you have the POWER to change something.  Change is good.  Go for it!

There is a silver lining in every cloud.  Yet another cliche, I know, but this is the truth as I know it.  If you know me, you know I don’t believe in coincidences.  My clients sure know this!  We are given what we need when we need it.  Whether you believe in God, Allah, a Higher Power, Mother Earth, or some other being, we get what we need when we need it and not a minute before.

So, you were disappointed?  It happens. I’m not making light of it because I know how stinky that disappointment can be.  The truth of the matter is that whomever we believe in knows better than we do.  We must learn to be open and available for what is in store for us and not put all of our hopes into one particular thing.

I hope you’re never disappointed.  If you find yourself experiencing a let down…remember, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES TO MAKE THE SITUATION BETTER!  Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb.  Take a chance. Who knows what could happen?

Until Next Time,

J

 

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Skunk revisited

ImageImagine being cozy in bed, fan blowing on you, windows open, crickets chirping, peacefully dreaming and all of the sudden…BAM….skunk smell.  That was me at 3:00 this morning.  Every morning between 3 & 4 am, the dog goes out for his morning stroll.  Since we live near a park and it’s early in the morning, he gets to go solo.  Secretly, I think he likes this freedom to go wherever he wants, sniff whatever he wants, and chase the squirrels.  It just so happened that this morning, he stumbled upon Pepe le Pew.  Fortunately, he wasn’t sprayed but, somehow, his head stinks!! Guess who is getting a bath tomorrow?

As I laid in bed and heard “daddy” coughing and gagging, I giggled.  Until the smell wafted in the windows.  Then it was my turn to cough and gag! There is still a little bit of skunk smell in the back of my throat.  Eww.  

As we were on our way home from dinner this evening, we started talking about the whole incident and it got me thinking.  How often do we reach out to someone in an effort to help or be supportive and are met with an awful reaction?  Do we take that reaction personally or put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and reflect on why they may have reacted the way they did? If we experience this reaction do we then live life with blinders on “just in case” or do we continue to reach out to others?

I know that the dog was just trying to be friendly and say hello to Pepe.  Too bad Pepe viewed him as a threat.  How do you view others? Is your “skunk scent” on high alert? Maybe it’s time to “descent” and let friendly people into your life.   

Until Next Time,

J

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Sledgehammer Needed…

As I reflected on my counseling session this evening to try to write my notes, the image of a wall came to mind.  Not just any wall.  A Rapunzel tower to be exact.  I thought about why some people build walls and others don’t. I came to the realization that we all build walls. Some of us build small walls that we can step over when we need to.  Some of us build our walls so high that others cannot break them down.

So I ask you, dear reader, how high do you build your wall?  What is it that makes you build that wall?  Is it lack of trust?  Is it not wanting to be hurt?  Is it because you need to feel safe?  Is it because you are hiding your hurt?  I wonder what life is like behind that high wall.  Is it lonely?  Is it comforting?

Some of us try without ceasing to break those walls down.  Sometimes it feels like we will never even crack the bricks.  At times, we might even wish we had the ability to scale that wall, peek over it and say, “Hi!”  At times it is frustrating. At times we might even want to give up and allow the person to sit perched behind their wall and walk away from the whole situation.

We are made to be in relationship with each other.  We crave human interaction, and, I will argue, that we need it.  How can we be in relationship with one another when there is a wall built?  Let me give you a hint, dear reader, WE CAN’T!

We need to talk to each other.  We need to be supportive of one another. We need to laugh.  We need to cry.  We need to just “be.”  And we need to do all of these things with others.

Life is not meant to be lived behind a wall.  Life is meant to be lived to the fullest.  If you are a wall builder, I would encourage you to start to chip away at that wall and stick a toe out.  Feel the warmth of the sun on your face.  Feel the gentle breeze against your skin.  Breathe in life….breathe out negativity.

Take a chance.  Let others in….you’ll be amazed.

Until Next Time,

J

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Hurry Up!!!!!

It’s been a month of Sundays since I have felt compelled to blog.  Please forgive my laziness/lack of motivation. So much has happened over the last 8 months that I sometimes don’t know if I’m coming or going.  Life changes.  People change.  It is what it is.  Reflecting over the past months made me think.  How much time have I wasted?  How much time haven’t I wasted?  What do I have to show for my efforts?  What do I have to show for my lack of efforts?  Who have I touched?  Who haven’t I touched?  Where am I supposed to be?  Where am I going? When will I get there? 

I don’t know the answers to some of these questions — that’s okay because I know the answers will be revealed to me at some point.  The thing is, I hate waiting.  I skipped school the day they handed out patience.  I want it and I want it NOW.  Not tomorrow, not next week, NOW.  I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.  As I sit with my clients and we discuss the instant gratification “thing” I just smile because I know the feeling — all too well.

So here we are in the “hurry up and wait” mode.  As you tap your foot waiting for something to happen NOW, take a deep breath and remember that sometimes we have to help the plan along.  The waiting and helping will be the calm before the storm because whatever it is that we’ve been waiting for is going to change our lives immensely.  I believe this.  You should too. 

Until Next Time,

J

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Who is Murphy and Why Does He Get A Law?

Have you ever had one of those days where anything and everything doesn’t go according to your plan?  Well, guess what?  Today was one of those days.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s just really life happening and I just have to “let it be” and move on.  (Notice I didn’t say ‘get over it?’ If you have no idea what I’m talking about…read the “Maybe the Beatles were on to something” blog entry).  ANYHOO…I digress……

So, here’s what has happened to me so far today and the day is far from over.  I woke up to Dr. Hutchinson saying something about anxiety — I forgot to take out the review CD from the player.  Nice to hear his voice again. NOT.  Got out of bed and got ready to go teach a first aid/cpr class.  A few days ago, I decided it was time to try straightening my hair.  Looks nice, actually.  Except when you burn a section of it.  Yea, so that was me today — tucking that portion behind my ear.

Traffic was insane.  The students were late.  The new video is pretty boring and everyone was sighing.  Learned that I may not be able to teach the remaining classes that I have scheduled. (through no fault of my own) Came home in the dense fog to walk my furry friends.

It started to rain so I decided we’d go for a car ride to the bank.  Mind you, the bank is only two minutes from the house.  My little furry friend whined the whole trip.  Came home, they jumped out, went to the bathroom then hopped back in the truck.  So, off we went. Again.  Then the whining started and I was done.

We came home and walked around the development because it was raining.  Some sirens went off, and my big furry friend stopped in his tracks.  Wouldn’t move.  He is afraid of sirens.  I kept walking.  He caught up.  Went to go back in the house and it was locked!!!!  I don’t have a key to that house.  Yet.  Knocked on another neighbor’s door for some help and he slid the screen up, slid the window up, leaned in and opened the door.  My furry
friends were safely back in their dry, warm home.

This story doesn’t end here………just think rain, dropping off recycling (which I just started doing) in two different places for the first time, frizzy hair (word to the wise — straightened curly hair and rain don’t mix well), and a reluctant trip to the gym for a quick workout before going to my friend’s office to help her pack it up.

She was running late so I hopped on to check the status of my application for my last 4.5 credits needed for my licensing.  My transcript still has not been received, classes start next week, and financial aid may not cover a certificate program.

Are you laughing yet?  I am.  All of these little inconveniences are a real pain when put together in one day.  But, in the grand scheme of things, so very unimportant.  Each of these little things will force me to begin to do something differently.  That is good.  Change is good.  Life is good.  Even when this Murphy guy and his stupid law come to visit.  Isn’t life all about adaptation?  How well are you going to adapt to Murphy’s Law when it rears its inconvenient head?  I hope well.

Until Next Time,
J

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Blah, Pfft, Ugh….

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and your whole day is ruined?  I sure have. Today was one of those days.  If you know me, either personally or through my blog, you know that I am a very upbeat, positive, optimistic person. Even in the face of adversity, I can see the positive.  Call it a gift, a curse, whatever you wish. I LOVE my outlook.  Most days.  Today wasn’t one of them.  And I’m okay with it.

I haven’t been sleeping well as of late.  Even worse than normal.  Could be this cold/stuffy nose/coughing thing I have going on.  Could be my current employment status.  Could be a million different things.  Regardless…I have not been praying to St. Mattress lately and o-dark-thirty and I are becoming close friends.  You know that butt-crack of dawn time of the morning people talk about?  I’ve seen it…more than once.  I could probably say that this is the reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.  Regardless, we all have days when we’d rather not put one toe on the ground let alone peek out from under the covers.  Life is like that.  Sometimes we get twisted.  Sometimes we stay twisted. I haven’t put too much effort into trying to figure out why I’m twisted today.  Honestly, I don’t care.  I’m not going to stay twisted.  It’s not healthy for me — or you either for that matter. Tomorrow is a brand new day and I get a brand new start.

My dear reader, please allow me to share with you what I have discovered during this current state of “twistedness.”
1.  Just because I’m miserable, I don’t have to make the people around me miserable.
2.  It’s okay to be twisted. It’s how long I allow myself to be this way that is the issue.
3. It’s okay to laugh when I feel like this.  Laughter is good for the soul.
4. No matter how sorry I feel for myself, there is always someone (and probably more than one someone) who is worse off than I am.
5. Sweatpants, a sweatshirt, sneakers and no make up is appropriate attire in public.

Tomorrow will be better than today.  I know it will because I WILL MAKE IT BETTER!!

Until Next Time,
J

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Maybe the Beatles were on to something

I read this quote this morning:  ‎”When people say “Let it go,” what they really mean is “Get over it,” and that’s not a helpful thing to say. It’s not a matter of letting go – you would if you could. Instead of “Let it go,” we should probably say “Let it be”; this recognizes that the mind won’t let go and the problem may not go away, and it allows you to form a healthier relationship with what’s bothering you.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

It really made me think.  How many times have we said “Let it go” and “Get over it?”  I say it all the time.  Thump on the head — maybe it’s time to stop saying it.  We just don’t “get over stuff.”  We have to face whatever it is head on, examine it from a million different aspects, embrace it, live with it, poke at it a bit and then, maybe, just maybe we might be able to accept it.  Or not.

I’m not a Beatles fan, but maybe they were on to something.  Maybe “Mother Mary” is the healthy relationship that we long for with whatever is bothering us.  Maybe if we hear the whispered words of wisdom, we will find the answer.

I like “Let it be.”  I think I will begin to say it.  Will  you?

Until Next Time,
J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdopMqrftXs

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